And The Winner Is

My handsome son Adam won third prize in a Chili cook-off contest.  There was some stiff competition, I may just be a partial mom but his chili was my favorite.  if lake Conroe wasnt under construction it would definitely be a favorite.

Money

After an exhausting month in Texas I found myself completely broke, without much food, and needing to drive back up to Montana.  I did something I never thought I would do for money (nothin illegal) and set out feeling sorry for myself.  My plate was a whole heaping pile of full, with gravy slathered on top.  Then it happened.  I saw them everywhere.  Sitting on street corners, walking down the sidewalk, hiding under overpasses, and even retreating into woods.  They were everywhere and nowhere.  The homeless.  In spite of my destitute situation I did have some food.  I had a 26 foot travel trailer for a home, and more importantly I had a husband and eight amazing children who loved and cared for me.  I have brothers and sisters, friends, and fellow travelers who despite increasing pressure on our time earnestly want to be there for me when I am struggling. 
I have fed the homeless before, given money, passed out food, but I think that this year I want to make a concerted effort to be their friend.  Someone to share their load with, someone to lap up the gravy of life and be.  I cant change the world.  We have already established that I am not independently wealthy, but I can connect with someone who needs connection.  Connections my journey is about connecting with people. 

Arches National Park

Arches National Park was breathtaking.  Not only was I blown away by my children's fearlessness, but in awe at this simple creation of God's.  It was like a banner across the sky that says this is nothing compared to how much I love you.  Something so simple yet amazing.  Although my children whined and complained the whole way there, even Adam had to admit it was worth it.  Love my family.

Feel in the Love

This is how my day usually goes.  We love you mom! I can't believe you dragged us here, your the worst mom ever.  I love my brother, but he is the worst brother ever.  What we lack in our RV is simple, a little something called Grey Area.  We are a family of extremes.  So I felt this picture embodied that old saying "I love you to death!"  cause that is how we roll. There is no moderate warm like in my family.  It is always cold shoulder or jumping in the hot waters that is the human condition.  We are coming closer together and I am so grateful for it.  Even though most days we want to kill each other.

Finally in Texas

After a frantic drive south to try and beat mother nature we landed in Texas close to my amazing daughter.  we spent the evening in the laundry room.  How I missed this amazing girl.  She is so full of life and still believes in this great big world of ours.  I wish I could pack her up and take her with us.  Well minus the bad habits:)  I even get to see her friend Melissa again, I think if I had a Melissa in my life I would have gotten in far less trouble.  I love seeing my girl again.

Driving Games

A common problem we have in society is to point out the negative in our life.  As a way to look at the positive we play a game while driving.  Have you ever noticed the how's my driving stickers as your moving down the highway?  Well we have made a game out of it.  If you notice a polite driver or someone just happy we call the number.  Now I will warn you if you choose to participate the operator on the other end will think you are related to the driver, there will be a long pause, it makes them question reality for a moment, overall it is a way to spread a little sunshine.  Ok it may not change anything, maybe I was just desperate for adult conversation when I started it, but it is fun to share a smile a happy moment.  As a side note please dont operate the phone while you are operating a motor vehicle.  This as most games while driving is for passengers only.

REAL

So I wrote this post in 2011 and put it on my facebook, but I thought I should share it here.  It was a particularly difficult time in my parenting journey. I am very proud to say we have come a long way.  The most important being that ALL of my children know they are valuable to me:

Last week I spent three hours in therapy, four hours meeting with teachers, two hours at the doctors, I shopped for clothes and food, and I attended a choir concert. I lost sleep full of worry and concern.  This does not even begin to touch the time I spent cooking, cleaning, and listening.  All of this for one of my eight children, yet I cannot manage to grasp the ever elusive title of REAL parent.  Sometimes I sit awake at night wondering what it would take for me to become a Real Parent.  Do you know how many times I have watched Pinocchio?  I have done everything they said.  Yet I remain not real.  All the paperwork in the world can’t prove that I am real.  And unlike the Biological parents, who get to be real no matter what they have done no matter what I sacrifice I never get the honor of just being mom.  So you ask why do I do it?  Don’t worry I have asked myself the same question many times. 

            I do it for the honor of watching them overcome it all.  Of seeing them break through the chains that bind them to generations of bad behavior and watch them reach beyond what anyone thought they could.  I get to rejoice in the little things like getting them to bathe properly and I am absolutely giddy the first time they don’t crawl into the fetal position when they get in trouble, because they are afraid we will send them away. 

            I have never been one to do things the easy way.  Just sitting back and watching my biological children grow up.  With love and nurturing and protection from the world.  I took for granted all the little things they did because it was expected.  They had been taught from birth.  But changing a child’s birth pattern is challenging.  It can be very disheartening.  There are days you cry yourself to sleep because you wonder if you can’t make any real lasting difference.  And days when they call you mom, that makes it all worth it.

            Adopting a child is like ripping your heart out and putting it on display in the mall. People are constantly judging the end product.   There is absolutely no way that it can be done without an entire army of people.  Teachers, Friends, specialists, but even with all of those things, it can’t be done without love.  A greater capacity than ever known to exist.  A love that can take rejection, loneliness, and pain and still come back for more.  A love that can hold on when everyone else tells you to quit. Without that, you can’t possibly hope to succeed.  Success doesn’t mean you get a doctor or lawyer, a productive member of society.  Success is a child who knows they are worth your love. 

Dog Therapy

While on the road it's difficult to get some therapy in for the kids, but Dog therapy on the other hand.  Starts by becoming the dog.  Austin and Asher took turns putting on the dog head that had been unstuffed by some previous dog play and let Princess express her true feelings about other dogs.  We learned alot about her jealous streak and her need for someone like her.  Don't worry we have several parts of other dog stuffed animals to continue this successful therapy.

Hotel Adventure

My husband accepted a job driving truck over the road.  To get his training we had to hightail it to Salt Lake City.  And they put us up in two hotel rooms.  The top one is for my husband and I, the bottom is the kids.  They love being plugged in and having wireless internet they can stream on.  The dogs stayed in our room.  It seemed so big.  I measured things out mentally and our one room was pretty close to the size of our whole RV.  I think if it had a little fridge and microwave I could live in a hotel too, but I miss my RV.  The first night I almost went downstairs and slept in it.  Having all my things handy and in their place is so much easier in an RV than in a hotel.  My husband made at least half a dozen trips down to the RV to retrieve things we forgot and needed.  I also don't like having to worry about the neighbors below me when the dogs get in a wrestling mood ;)  It was a nice break and I enjoyed having space to leave my computer out, Room on the bed for the dog to lay, and continental breakfast.  But I am ready to move on to my next adventure.  To Texas to see my little girl!!

Halloween Preperation

While I did forget to get pictures of all of the final costumes. I had a good time taking picures of the prep that went into it.  Because it started at about 8am and lasted through lunch.  There was makeup everywhere, I am not even sure of all the transformations that took place, but they did trick or treating at Walmart, because we were parked in the parking lot.  They went to AJ's dorm and got a ton of candy, and managed to pick up a few other random treats in Butte.  What awesome kids I have.  There love just being kids and I am truly grateful for that.  

Visit with AJ

As my children grow up and move out I miss them a ton.  So when we drive past where they are it's the most exciting time for me, because there is nothing more I would rather see in this world than my children.  This was a fun lunch date with AJ.  He is having a great time at college, getting good grades, but absolutely no girls have caught his attention, which I am thankful for.  When we got in the car I asked him where he wanted to go and for the first time in 18 years he gave me an answer "can we please not go to taco bell, burger kind, Wendy's, or anything like unto it"  Of course I had to oblige him.  I miss my AJ, and I am so incredibly proud I got to be his mom.

Power of the Rainbow

A beautiful rainbow graced our presence as we were traveling through  Idaho.  That however is not the most beautiful part of my day.  The most beautiful was when my children stopped arguing to discuss rainbows.  While this may not have been the biggest, brightest, or clearest rainbow to me it was special because after six hours of driving I was able to enjoy a little peace and quiet because of this rainbow. 

The Hair

Ok secretly I will admit it.  The only reason I wanted a little girl was to do her hair.  Since my girl came after the little stage I have had to resort to male hair doing.  These wonderful yarn braids took many hours but came out very nicely.  While this seems like nothing more than a fancy style, it turned into some magically mother and son bonding time.  Parts of him loves it and parts of him loves that we got some us time.  I am just amazed I could do it.  YouTube is an amazing educational tool, not to be underestimated.  

Dungeons and Dragons and other mythological paths

We found a dungeon and dragon store.  Bought a set of dice and Tony took the boys to a rousing four hour game of mystical magic.  Half of them enjoyed it immensely and want to shirk their Wednesday night church activity for another four hour session, before we leave.   And this is the beginning.  It turns out my sixteen year old plays with his friends sometimes.  But I am glad we took the time to learn it.  It should end up being some great fun.

Sewing and other manly activities

Well it doesn't seem like we have been too busy we are in what the military refers to as the hurry up and wait phase.  and so we sew.  Now I cant tell you that we accomplished a beautiful evening gown, but after three hours and some input from a very nice neighbor we got that thing working.  My sister has promised me a sewing machine when I get to PA! I plan to take her up on that offer, but I do have to say there is a certain burden that goes along with that.  The burden in to be productive.  I may need some lessons.  The journey has been amazing up to know. So who knows.  I could end up crafty in my golden years.  Giving away po tholders and oven mitts at thousand trails around the US. 

A Transformation

I believe the exact quote goes "wow this is amazing. I can see! "  after well over a year of him moving this far away when he tries to read a text or email.  Very slyly on a date I suggested he try on these reading glasses. Not even Tony could bark at the $1 price tag.  So for an even buck my husband can see again.  But they are only for reading.  

When ye ar in the service of your fellowmen

We have been itching to get out and since adam needed some volunteer work done we headed off to the food bank to sort rotten potatoes.  It seems this is one of the rare moments when my children can get along.  So we tossed rotten potatoes and worked on blueberries and in general had a great afternoon.  So great in fact we went two days that week and have plans to go back on Thursday. I love giving and teaching my children to thirst after the high you get when serving other people.  Maybe just maybe it will help them avoid other less altruistic highs.  I love to see the boys excited to give. Hopefully we can continue these random acts of charity as our adventure one day moves south.

Chore chart Take 2

We were given wise advice when we started camping.  Seasoned campers laughed as they talk about their attempt at the chore chart.  After several tries without one I have made up our second chore chart.  It is simple and to the point,  It spins, and it is held together with duct tape.  If those arent the makings of a successful chore chart I dont know what are.  Week 1 accomplishment, it is still on the wall, which makes it better than round one.  My biggest problem is when my kids run off I love the peace and quiet to much to call them back to finish their chores.  I hear people all the time talk of where they will go for winter.  We have been in this campground a month and I want to pull my hair out.  I need about ten places to stay for winter.  I dont like staying still. 

Oh and PS three of my kids have confessed to liking being on the road.  One simple change would make it perfect(insert eye roll here) .  I have four kids on the road with me. 

I love my wacky family every single one of them.

Plastic vs. Porcelain

I will start at the end, we have a new to us porcelain sink in the bathroom.  While I was going to check out my local habitat for humanity resale shop, I happened to have friends over, who happen to have a sink laying in their garage.  So this beautiful shiny new too me sink is now in my bathroom. 
The whole problem began a couple of days ago.  I thought for the first couple of days that I suddenly became an enthusiastic face washer and left a wet mess on the floor.  But after two days of this I decided to check under the sink and yes you guessed it wet puddle of water.  Luckily I learned in my last rv trip not to stow the toilet paper there. 
Upon further examination from my learning to be handy husband we found, that what I thought was a scratch in our plastic sink was actually a crack.  Not one but two.  My theory is that my kids stand in the sink when they shave. 
After utilizing some duct tape and silicone we patched it up located a new sink and while I was away taking kids to scouting activities tonight the sink fairy put the new sink in and just to see if I was paying attention installed the hot and cold on opposite sides.  While I was paying attention I love the sink fairy so much that I am not going to mention it right away, but bring it up casually, after the praise and adoration has lingered a bit. 
I am now the proud owner of a porcelain sink, a plastic bathtub and shower, a plastic toilet, but a real live shiny porcelain sink! 
And coincidentally I also cleaned out the storage under the sink and realized I brought to many cleaners.  If you pass me in the grocery store buying any cleaner just wag your finger and make the tsk tsk sound.  Hopefully that will be enough of a reminder.

Crawdads

Wednesday was errand day.  While I was out my children kept themselves entertained.  Learning to catch Crawfish as well as cook them and eat them. It was absolutely amazing to come home and see them knee deep in the creek.  They used the internet.  I had the first spark of being able to figure out this education thing.  You know the one where my children are exceptionally brilliant and well educated and ready to take on the world without leaving gaps in their pursuit of high education.  Well I cant promise all those things but the crawdads were yummy.  If all else fails I know my children can feed themselves.

Library

So my husband started his CDL class today and with him went the reliable WIFI.  So we packed up and headed to the library.  It took me back a few years to a time when we were at the library at least once a week.  The boys all picked books, some made 3-D glasses, and others played on the computer.  I think we will be spending more time in this great place.  I didn't realize how much I missed it.  We got very little "schoolwork" done and opted instead to do alot of learning.  So many appointments creep in when I come back to our hometown.  Its like this weird magnetic field.  So I cant wait to be on the road again back to that simple life I had a tiny taste of. 

A Month

It has been a trying and difficult few weeks.  I have found more triggers for my PTSD on the road then I ever imagined existed,  but I have muddled my way through mental as well as physical obstacles.  I have done a ton of quilting.  I have about five squares done and in spite of all my struggles my dearest husband continues to move forward.  We are back in kalispell for five weeks so he can get his CDL.  Then we are off again.  Hopefully getting South before the snow flies below 3000 feet.  In the midst of all my chaos we managed to squeak out some school and hanging this wonderful little shelf above our tv, so we have a place for the DVD player and remotes.  I am currently deciding if I should Velcro them down or put them away when we are moving. 
I am hoping to get my husbands side of the room cleared before Christmas.  Then we should be settled in.  So many little projects that want my time, in the end I prefer to spend them with my kids.

Pop

Now before I share with you the harrowing tail of the picture in this post.  Let me just say that no animals or humans were harmed in the making of this blog and I rock as a mom. 
We were cruising down the road at an acceptable travel trailer speed.  Enjoying the 5th hour of our three hour drive when we heard an enormous pop.  Imagine if you will a toy pop gun magnified by 1000.  So we pulled over and there it was.  Our inaugural flat tire.  I got a little weepy as I realized our time as newbies on the road was quickly coming to an end.  Without more than three words my husband and I went to work, he definantly doing the lions share.  While laboring over putting the broken tire back on AJ called to ask about laundry.  Imagine me laboring earnestly with what may or may not be a wrench trying to tighten an exploded tire on the side of the highway while giving laundry directions to AJ. I am mom hear me roar and before the kids could ask how much longer we were on the road again.  Imagine my outrage when at the next gas station we had to pay 75 cents for air!!! AIR people.  The stuff we need to live.  Reminded me of a really great Dr. Seuss movie.  In the end I accepted the fact that even on the road our meager savings would be challenged and must be defended with life and limb. 
So we left at noon today for a three hour tour......I mean a short three hour drive and at 7:30 I am enjoying a beautiful sunset while we again cruise along at a safe speed and thinking back to just yesterday when I was worried about washing to rig.